Snape's Beginning
by Agent H.E.R.O
Summary: Starting when Snape first goes to see Dumbledore after he becomes a death eater.


It was a cold December day when Severus Snape set out to meet his Lord for a special Death Eater meeting. There had been meetings every week, and lately every few days, with Voldemort closer to his goal of world domination. His black boots crunched softly on the leaves lying on the asphalt outside of Hogwarts. With a final glance back at the warm castle, he disapparated to the hideout.

"Ah Severus, how nice of you to join us. Did you bring what I asked?" Said Voldemort exaggerating his s's.

"My Lord," Snape whispered as he bent down to kiss the flowing robes.

"I was not able to complete your request. The potion ingredients were too hard to obtain without Dumbledore noticing."

The ivory white man circled his most trusted Death Eater, glancing down at him.

"That Dumbledore is annoying, isn't he? But you should've been more cunning my little snake. I expected so much more from you," Voldemort's pale, white, hands plucked his wand out lightly from his pitch-black robes.

This was it, Snape would die right here, right now. On this cold wood floor, he would be tortured and then killed without anyone who loved him. A flash of Dumbledore crossed through his mind but disappeared in an instant. That old man did not love Snape; he hated him. The twenty-two year old was merely a pawn in the great Wizard's game. Snape knew he had no right to anyone's love or affection. He chose this desperate path on his own, seeking recognition from anyone. Sure he brewed potions brilliantly, but no one cared about him enough to talk with him during lunch or study together. Then came Lucius, he offered a polished hand to an only too eager Severus. The blond showed the raven haired man new places, new spells, and offered him a sense of belonging. The price? A mark on his arm, and the willingness to follow orders.

To be fair, Snape knew what being in service of the dark lord meant. He understood he tortured and killed people just like he would be tonight. But at least he belonged there, or at least he thought he did, until they killed Lily.

That one memory burned in his mind like a flame. Severus never begged, but that night he did enough groveling to make up for it.

"Please, spare the girl,"

Voldemort grinned, his lips curling upward. "Oh Severus, still attached to your…how do those muggles say…high school sweet heart?"

"We grew up together, I can't just-"

"You can't, but I can." And with that Voldemort strode out of the room. Snape tried to follow but the dark wizard already left. The only person left to go to hated him.

Dumbledore sat in his big armchair sipping his tea when he felt a disturbance in the wards at Hogwarts. A knock on his door sounded, "Come in."

Severus stood in the door frame, panting and bleeding. "You look quite well Severus."

"Please Dumbledore, he's going to kill her."

"Just her? I find that hard to believe."

"You know what I'm talking about!" Snape nearly screamed hysterically.

"I can't do anything to help you." Dumbledore stared down at the tortured man down his nose.

"There must be something, anything!" The tears gathered at the corner of Snape's eyes.

"Why should I? You chose this path for yourself. Innocent blood shows on your hands."

Snape glanced down at his own dexterous hands, his breathing harsh and laboured.

"I had no choice-"

"You had no choice? Surely with your excellent grades and your mastery of potions you could've found something." Dumbledore shot back, his eyes peering over his silver rimmed glasses.

"Besides, I don't help monsters like yourself."

Snape's legs buckled beneath him, his face smashing into the freezing stone floor.

"See where you end up Severus? Alone and dirty, at my mercy, cowing at my doorstep." The aged wizard got up from behind his desk, walking around the crumpled man.

"They told me you'd give anyone a second chance."

Dumbledore stopped pouring the tea from the porcelain china cup.

"You think you deserve my help?"

"Not me," Snape gasped. "But Lily does. Her and P-Potter. They'll be tortured and killed!"

Dumbledore placed his face close to Snape's on the floor. "I would never let any of my students suffer if I could protect them. I've already set up precautions for Lily and James and their son."

Snape started to lift himself up with his skinny arms, but fell with a thud.

"Have you forgotten I was once your student too?"

"You were never my student! You never confided in me or even said hello like the others." Dumbledore snorted.

"The once I tried to confide in you those stupid Marauders got let off with a detention when Black deliberately tried to kill me!"

"Oh Severus, you forget you muddled in their business first!"

Snape turned his head away from Dumbledore, knowing he would probably rot in Azcabam for the rest of his life.

"What are you waiting for?" Snape asked, coughing up blood after the words escaped his lips.

"Tell you what Severus, I'll protect the Potters if you do something for me."

"Anything-cough-cough"

"You must spy for me, give me information on Voldemort and his plans."

"Go back-cough-there?" Snape groaned; the crimson puddle under him growing bigger.

"Or I could just wait till you die on my floor." Dumbledore walked back to his desk, placing the tea on a little saucer with flowers on the edges.

"Yes, I-I'll do it" A spasm of coughs followed after and Snape fell into unconsciousness.

Death stood at the door, watching as the old man hurried from his work space and kneeled beside the freshly turned death eater.

Snape's lips slowly tinged blue. Death wandered over to the pair, placing his hand ontop of the near dead man's head.

Blood clogged the airway, preventing CO2 from escaping and oxygen pumping to the heart.

"No Severus, it's not time for you to die. Not when you've become so valuable."

Yes, that was Snape's first encounter with Dumbledore outside of school. He still had the scars. Had their relationship evolved any further since that day? Or did Dumbledore still think he was a monster, only capable of destruction?

"Headmaster-" The black haired man whispered, barely audible.

"Severus! What happened this time?" Snape laid down on the bed, his eyes fluttering.

"Diagonally, raid, tomorrow night." The headmaster ripped open Severus's top bottoms, revealing a heavily scarred chest.

"I'll call Poppy-"

"No! Please, I just need sleep."

"They'll get infected!" Dumbledore exclaimed, but saw that Snape fell asleep.

"I suppose I'll have to clean them then."

Snape woke up later that night, screaming.

"Severus, it's okay. I'm here."

He looked into blue eyes, but they were no longer hard, but soft and kind.

"How are you feeling?" Questioned Dumbledore, concern evident in his voice.

Snape coughed weakly and stared at the wrappings on his chest.

"Better,"

The old wizard released a breath he didn't know he held and patted the other wizard's shoulder.

There were times when Snape still felt like an outsider though; particularly at the

Order meetings.

"So now we're all supposed to trust a death eater?" Asked Sirius, his voice raising slightly.

Moody nodded in agreement. "He's right Albus. We can't rely on the little snake to give us anything but lies and deceit."

Snape stood at the table, his face as stoic as ever.

"I can assure you, he's changed. He's with us now."

Sirius got up from his seat; his chair scraped against the tile.

"You may have fooled some people, but you'll never fool me Snivellus!" Sirius whispered as he passed Snape and shoved him.

Molly stood next to the ex-Death Eater, steadying him after the push.

"Don't you worry about it dear. It's good to have another member." Molly smiled, trying to make the other man feel welcomed.

There were also times when he felt closer to the Order than he did his own family.

It rained that night. Voldemort loves the rain, but that didn't make his punishment any easier on Severus.

Severus foiled a potion again, on purpose, of course. For Dumbledore thought the potion too valuable to give to the Dark Lord.

"Again you disappoint me Severus." Snape gulped, the other Death Eaters standing in a circle around him.

Bellatrix licked his lips as the Dark Lord talked. She hungered for torture and blood; he could almost smell her excitement.

That night he received the worst beating of his life. The cruciatus coursed through his body more than fifty times. His muscled jerked and twitched with every step. An order meeting was held that night as well so instead of just reporting to Dumbledore he needed to report to all the members. He knocked weakly at the door, coughing into his sleeve.

"Password?" Asked Moody behind the door.

"I think it's a full moon tonight." With reluctance, Moody opened the door. Snape begged his legs to move for one last time tonight in his mind. He tried to hide the torn black cloth with his usual black cape.

"Well look what the cat dragged in!" Sirius said, a grin playing on his features.

Snape lowered himself gently into his chair.

"Severus, how did the meeting go?"

"They killed five more muggles in the last week. Next week they're killing half bloods. Also they're looking for a special plant called the yew flower."

The members nodded. Snape's vision started to blur, a brief wave of nausea passing over him.

"Hey, you alright?" Asked Remus, who noticed the brief lapse.

Snape put a hand on his head. "I-" Blood stained his hand, "I don't feel well. May I be excused?"

"Is that all you have to report?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape's mind flew through the previous death eater meeting. "Yes."

The headmaster nodded as Snape got up, leaning heavily on the chair for support.

"Let me help you." Remus said, seeing how the man's breathing became laboured with every step. Snape said nothing as Lupin put one arm around Snape's waist and helped him up the stairs and into his room.

"This isn't my room." Snape muttered weakly.

"My room is closer. Here, lay back." Remus put his hand on the back of Snape's head as he guided the injured man to the pillow. The werewolf saw the red liquid that clung to his fingers from the gesture.

"Your head's bleeding."

"Your observation skills never fail to astound me." Remarked Snape dryly.

"We need to take care of the wound. Should I call Poppy?"

"No, no it's nothing." But even as Snape said that, another wave of nausea overtook him. His head spun and he started seeing double.

"I'm at least getting Molly. She's suffered through tons of the twins' pranks going wrong and ending up treating them for physical ailments."

Snape tried to protest, but his voice wouldn't come. The urge to sleep never seemed so appealing.

Remus stepped down stairs, the order members still talking. He siddled up beside the mother. "Could you possibly help me with Snape? I think he might have a concussion."

The red haired woman turned around and got up, following the Lupin.

"Oh Severus! This is dreadful!" She clucked, mimicking Madam Pomfrey.

When Snape woke up that night, his fingers felt bandages around his head and saw they taped his leg also.

On the bedside table there was a potions bottle for pain relief and a tired Remus.

The potions master smiled softly; he always wanted a brother, this was close enough.


End file.
